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desi

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[04 Jun 2009|08:23pm]
[ mood | worthless ]
[ music | commercial ]

dear anon.


my birthday is in a few days.
19.
im gunna hill with my mommy.
we're going garage-sailing.

i just want to leave.
i might be moving with my dad to NC or SC, or he even said maybe FL?

probably not though.

jerry was talkin about having a bday party for meh.


ben and i are no longer a thing.
i date tyler now.
hes so good to me.

but i cant stop thinking about trash paople these days.


love des

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[12 Nov 2005|04:54am]
hmmm. emily. i wrote you a private entry in your journal. i love you.
1 comment|post comment

[06 Nov 2005|11:54am]
i have a new kitten. i cant keep her though. she slept in my room last night. she woke me up by jumping on my face. i think peanut is pissed at me. awwwww shes so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuute!!



does anyone want a kitten?
1 comment|post comment

[06 Nov 2005|01:47am]
aside from about 2 hours ago, my day was alright. i DID have fun at nikkis though. umm. my mom knows i smoke pot, and im not sure if im grounded or not. im not gunna ask because then she has the chance to say no. hmph.
2 comments|post comment

[05 Nov 2005|03:20pm]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | none ]

yeah. not the last entry, but the one before that... my mom read...and about the getting high part...yeah, she read that too. shes at work right now, and shes gunna talk to me about it when she gets home. im probably going to be grounded, so consider this my last entry for a while. i messed up.




the weird thing is..
last night i decided to talk to "god". i asked him if he was really there, to prove it. some way to prove it! there is NO god. and if there was, hes an ass hole.



bye.

3 comments|post comment

[05 Nov 2005|02:59pm]
nikkis party.
poor buddha had to stay here with gromit and cj while john as at work, and i was sleeping. poor poor buddha. i felt bad. nothing more.
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[05 Nov 2005|12:57am]
[ mood | contemplative ]
[ music | none ]

as someone who posts a million times a day, i decided LJ blows. it causes nothing but problems, and it annoys me. its basicly a way for people to fish for compliments. i know maybe 7 people who dont do that and 3 of which are family. UGH!!!!!



DUDE!!! you look however you want to. dont worry about what other people think about you! FOR FUCKS SAKE dont let people make your decisions! i mean you dont have to sink as low as me and just wear what you went to bed in... i mean... i just dont give a shit and thats not always a good thing....but jesus christ.

fuck this.... i think im gunna make every entry private. if you ACTUALLY care about what i have to say, ask for my password, i might give it to you. maybe.



anyways. ive been stood up...and thats not even why im so aggravated. actually it has nothing to do with it. if you didnt want to go...why did you say yes? UGHHHH!! i wasted my night. well at least buddha wont be here by himself with gromit and cj again while johns at work. I COULD HAVE WENT TO EMILYS and i could have thrown in some money and she could have thrown in her stuff and i could have been high as fuck right now, and i would be able to hold her hand when she gets her peircing. she is the only female friend that will smoke with me, other then rachel (my cousin, not stoolmaker) but shes always busy, and smoking by yourself is boring. kiras afraid her mom will notice, which is understandable.


me john and buddha were just talking about how everyone changed and it fucking sucks. like hell. we decided we were the only ones who havent changed. buddha is scene now... but all he did was change his image, and its not like he changed for the worse. did i change? i mean i dont think all these other people know that they've changed....so why would i be any different??!!

im complaining a lot.... butim just aggravated....

on a lighter note...
"OHH i thought it was professor plum..."
-gromit


goodnight children. i hope nikkis party will be fun. i could use some excitement in this fucked up excuse i call a life.

2 comments|post comment

[04 Nov 2005|05:05pm]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | PIXIES DUH! ]

i think i have cancer in my face. according to my calculations, i only have a week to live....

2 comments|post comment

[04 Nov 2005|01:55pm]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | actually...none ]

OMGIHAVETOSNEAZEBUTITWONTCOMEOUT!!!!!
did you get that? if not, no biggie.
umm today was cool. i slept. ALLL day. or atleast until 1:30. maybe ill get rid of these rings under my eyes. that would be cool. i wouldnt look like a crack feind anymore.

kiras today, then nikkis (heathers) tomorrow... then idk what.

yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah. you're right. im too young for you.....but im not to young for the guy thats a year older then you ^^

woot.



okay. yeah, mohawk most likely will not be happening. bummmmmmer. it would probably be too hard to maintain anyways. damn optimism.

noodles now, dishes later...


PS kira and chris were not doing it, but i was still pissed that they just left me alone there...and all i had to talk to was cj online. if i wanted to talk to my little brother and sit at the computer when kira was just a phone call away, i woulda stayed home..... oh well. we're cool again.

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[04 Nov 2005|12:25am]
[ mood | 1st punk show what do u think? ]
[ music | unmutuals in my head ]

  • wow.
  • well i had fun, although i didnt get to see the dead kennedys..!!
  • =/  =) =D
  •  fire at will had a good turn out.... people really liked them
  • the bands that were pretty well known kept giving shoutouts to them.
  • john sliced his finger open
  • i arm wrestled a drunk guy
  • i won
  • he bought gregory (my little brother) a faw shirt
  • a creepy (kinda cute) goth kid kept starring at me
  • zack smith got to sing with one of the bands
  • todd told me i should be able to sell more stuff then the guys
  • i said "but i dont have huge boobs"
  • he said i dont have to.....all i have to do is pretend.
  • sure enough people started buying stuff.....wowwwwww.
  • a guy took a picture of cj's mohawk
  • my dads gunna try to talk my mom into letting me get a mohawk ^^
  • im still waiting to tell a certain somebody his little secret!!
  • cant wait for nikkis party
  • sleep? who knows!
  • WOOOOOOT!!!
4 comments|post comment

[03 Nov 2005|03:37pm]
good bye sympathetic desi, hello amaya darklore!
DUDE
okay i think i liked me better when i thought it would be funny to shove a dynamite in some chicks pussy, while she was tied to a chair. the wick of the stick of dynamite would be fairly long so she would know exactly how much time she would have, and she would be so scared for exactly that same amount of time. and i would have videotaped it with this indestructable camera. hell yeah.




i decided this because of you. like you said, this happened for a reason right? well i found my reason. it was to teach me that i cant keep sympthising with people. people got there problems. FUCK THEM. i got mine too. only a select few people i will listen to. i am done being the optimistic one for them. im ALWAYS pesimistic. but i never showed it. i wanted to turn over a new leaf. "oooh thats mean" "oh how horrible" "i cant beleive you even thought that" FUCK THAT! im going back to saying whats on my mind. if i get tired of someone i think im gunna announce it. i mean in the long run itll be for the best right? or i could toy with there emotions. i guess im good at doing that. well. toodles. and remember god hates you.'




i still love
you
you
you
you
you
you
and you.
and sometimes you.
4 comments|post comment

[03 Nov 2005|02:38am]
Peek Into Your Soul: A Survey About You
Name:desi
Age:15
Height:uhhhh
Weight:last i knew between 125 and 130
Hair color:blonde for now
Eye color:blueee
Pimples?:between my eyebrows, but they are going away =)
Glasses/Contacts?:i used to have wolf contacts. but i lost them.
Freckles?:i have random freckles
Favorites
Subject:drama?
Book:ooh man....lovely bones, da vinci code, you dont know me
TV show:HAHAHAHA... look at my myspace, that'll tell ya
Movie:my girl, lion king, benny and joon
Author:dan brown
Artist:kurt cobain
Actor/Actress:ally sheedy?
Food:noodles
Drink:m. dew, vault, faygo?
Animal:wolf. and peanut
Band:pixies maybe?
Song:OH GOD! idk. jeremy -pearljam i spose
Instrument:kazu
Facial Feature:tie between the eyes and lips
Color:lime green, or blue/purple mixes
Place to visit:friends' houses
Room in your house/apartment:mine
Fictional Character:shit son... how about calvin from calvin and hobbes
Teacher:degner or macinerny, maybe taylor
Grade (so far):i wish i could redo last year, but my favorite would be 6th?
Mythological Creature:darklores
Web site:livejournal DUH!
Thing to do:i colour pictures with a photo editor
Day of the week:friday at 2:25 PM
Season:summer/fall
Month:june
Type of weather:REALLY really cold outside, with snow everywhere, no footprints, while wearing something SUPER super warm, huddling with a boy or best friend to keep warm.
Do you...
Drink?:occasionally
Smoke?:yes
Drive?:NO
Kiss on the first date?:uhh... ive never been on a date.
Have sex on the first date?:no..
Do drugs?:yes
Live outside your means?:i dont really have an average anything
Obssess over your looks?:i can
Abuse your family and friends?:idk. ask them, not me.
Get good grades in school?:HAHAH! no.
Get sleepy during the day?:yes.
Own a car?:no.
Own more than 15 pairs of shoes?:NO.
Own more than 5 pairs of jeans?:HAHA no.
Have you ever...
Smoked a joint?:yes.
Stayed up all night?:yes.
Cussed in from of your parents?:yes. but its not a daily thing, and i didnt do it on purpose.
Hurt the feelings of someone you loved?:...yeah.
Had your feelings hurt by someone you loved?:mes papa
Failed a class?:yes.
Been really really scared?:yes....and i never want to relive that night.
Had to face a phobia?:nope. unless you count fabio. thats the HUGE spider that lives with kira.
Cried in public?:yeah =/
Thrown up at school?:yeah. recently accually
Been kicked out of the store?:ummmm, i dont think so.
Been in a car wreck?:HAHA yeah. i got a concussion.
Dumped someone?:techinaly, yes
Been dumped?:yes.
Had a one-night-stand?:ummmm. sort of.
Kissed and told?:yes.
Cussed in a Churst (or some other religious structure)?:yes
Beaten someone up?:my younger brothers. i beat the hell out of one, then i beat the hell out of the other one right after. blood everywhere. we were doing it for the fun of it though.
Been beaten up?:nope. well, by john...
Broken a bone?:no, but i dislocated my elbow once and needed surgery.
Been willing to sell your soul to the devil for something?:PSH i sold my soul to nikki and she traded it to buddha for his.
Lied to someone you loved?:yes.
Stolen from a friend?:yes.
Eaten an entire gallon of ice cream in one day?:no.
Gotten an award?:...accually...no. wow i suck.
Told a joke no one thought was funny?:HAHAHAHA YES!! all the time!
Laughed so hard you cried?:yes. everytime im with emily.
Cried so hard you laughed?:pshh. i cried so hard i started laughing and then becme REALLY calm. anpther time i cried so hard i threw up. true story.
Been to the opera?:no, but i kinda wanna go.
Fallen asleep in class?:HAHA, i practicly dont have a first hour.
Been cheated on by your boyfriend/girlfriend?:no.
Cheated on your boyfriend/girlfriend?:no.
Been in love?:im not sure
Gone out with someone who was married?:no......but i kissed a guy who had a gf at the time
Gone out with someone a lot older than you?:no.
Been stood up on a date?:uhhhh. well if you count my dad picking me up to hang out a date then yes.
Looked horrible in a yearbook picture?:PSH every one. i kinda like last years though.
Done something life-threatening?:druggggggs.
Cut school?:yes
Bought a lottery ticket?:no
Cheated on a test?:yes
Can you...
Swim?:yes.
Ride a bike?:yes.
Draw?:i can, just not good.
Sing?:^^
Dance?:^^
Skateboard?:HAHA i can try
Speak a second language?:i can speak basic basic spanish
Play an instument?:no
Recite the Gettysburg Address?:no, i dont even know the lords prayer
Label all fifty states?:i can name them all, but if im labeling them i only get 27/50 right
Name all the US presidents in the order they served?:HAHA i just know from clinton, to GWB
Read Tarot Cards, runes, palms, and/or, tea leaves?:no. but that would be cool.
Cook?:no
Whistle?:yes
Snap?:sometimes
Cross your eyes?:yes
Touch your nose with you tongue?:no
Balance a book on your head?:yes
Sew?:soemtimes
Recite the ABCs backwards without pausing?:no
If given the opportunity, would you...
Kill someone you hate?:not sure. maybe, i would kill someone i didnt know, that someone i loved hated
Have sex with someone really really really hot?:hah, yes
Star in a movie?:yes
Be on the cheerleading squad/football team?:no
Become the king/queen of a coutry?:maybe. if heather and k can rule with me.
Steal something you wanted?:yes
Cheat on a lover?:no
Let someone cheat on their lover with you?:hehe...not anymore
Experiment with someone the same sex as you?:yes
Live the life of someone else?:yes, only if i could come back to my life when ever i wanted
Sell your soul to the devil in exchange for something you really want?:no. and i already went throught the soul thing above
Go back in time and change something from happening?:yes.
Go to the moon?:yes
Run for president?:no
Pick one
Coke or Pepsi?:coke
Cats or dogs?:depends on my mood.
Really smart or really hot?:really smart, but not ugly
Really successful or really popular?:hmmm. successful
Really rich or really famous?:rich... i mean in time i'll get famous right?
Smart and depressed or stupid and happy?:stupid and happy for sure.
Summer or winter?:summer = fun. winter = beauty
Spring or fall?:^^^
Hot or cold?:hot on a cold day, and cold on a hot day
Love or lust?:lust for now.
Chocolate or vanilla?:chocolate
Skateboarding or surfing?:snowboarding
Which of your friends is the most...
Friendly?:elle
Loud?:k
Timid?:heather at times
Talkative?:tyler
Annoying?:kira
Hot?:elle
Tall?:depends who's taller between jacj jack, and chad
Short?:nikki.
Smart?:emily
Crazy?:you...dont know my friends
Funny?:aaron, emily, and heather. and sometimes k.
Who/When/What's the last...
Person you talked to on the phone?:bruce?
Song you listened to?:swing swing -all american rejects
CD you listened to?:a mix
Movie you watched?:benny and joon
Book you read?:im in the process of the lovely bones
Thing you ate?:ramen noodles
Thing you bought?:cigarettes
Time you cried?:..no comment
Time you laughed?:about an hour ago
Been scared?:that night with the cops
Kissed someone?:ben
Told someone you love them?:i think i told ashley i loved her, and if i didnt i meant to. if it wasnt her, then prolly heather
Prayed?:not sure
Hugged someone?:earlier. i hugged tricia bear!
Take this survey | Find more surveys
You've been totally Bzoink*d
2 comments|post comment

[02 Nov 2005|10:30pm]
[ mood | loved ]
[ music | none ]

i ♥ john!
i told him what happened with derka and i was almost crying and he just looked at me for a second, gave me a hug and sang you are my sunshine to me. i wanted to cry just for that reason. ^^








♥ desi.


and by " ♥ " i mean that i appreciate you guys taking the time to read this. not that i am in love with you. i learned i have to clerify that with people now.

4 comments|post comment

derka derka [02 Nov 2005|09:40pm]
originally i had this as private because i figured you guys either didnt care, or what ever. but you know what? i decided you guys get the chance to read about how much of an ass hole some guys can be. ESPECIALLY this one.



avacado strings: so what? are you never going to talk to me again, just because i dont feel the same way about you as you me?
Johnny Chains666: blow me
Johnny Chains666: you led me on, and anything i said to you yesterday or before that was just a joke to you so Im done, enjoy yourself
avacado strings: ...fucking grow up derek
avacado strings: jesus christ
avacado strings: its not the end of the fucking world
avacado strings: and i did not lead you on
avacado strings: i DID share the feelings. after a while tyou just got obsessive
avacado strings: and i dont like that
avacado strings: I CANT HELP WHAT I DONT LIKE...
Johnny Chains666: you know, youre right it isnt, but i seriously loved you but it was just a joke to you, youre the one that needs to grow up
Johnny Chains666: i dont want to deal with you hurting me and lying anymore so do your drugs party all you want, enjoy yourself, cuz youll regret it some day
Johnny Chains666: and be mad, im not sorry this time
avacado strings: i never lied
avacado strings: not once.
avacado strings: name just ONE time i lied to you.
avacado strings: EXACTLY
Johnny Chains666: fuck you, how about all the times ive said i loved you and i would do anything to you and you would do those little <3 bullshit and leading me on when you didnt give a shit
Johnny Chains666: but i dont want to argue, you can be mad, im not sorry
avacado strings: those little hearts?
avacado strings: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
avacado strings: i do that to everyone
avacado strings: ask dan
Johnny Chains666: what did i tell you, leave me the fuck alone
Johnny Chains666 signed off at 9:31:51 PM.
avacado strings: thats how i say goodbye you idiot
Previous message was not received by Johnny Chains666 because of error: User Johnny Chains666 is not available.
8 comments|post comment

[02 Nov 2005|08:24pm]
[ mood | chipper ]
[ music | k's listening to muse on her side and i have pixies on mine ]

i miss the darklore days.



















mb's got nothing on us.

6 comments|post comment

i need a cookie. one of those really big yummy ones. [02 Nov 2005|06:18pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]
[ music | pixies ]

so im at kiras. i was looking forward to it and all.... but now i wanna go home.
"hmmm but its okay we'll go to the park so it wont be aso bad"
yeah we went to the park. all the way out where no one else was and left. i had a killer time! not.
and "you just had that look of lonliness"
duh you fucking retard. it was because i was alone. dont you think i moved because then it seemed less like my best friend was making me into a third wheel...and maybe that i would feel better blaming myself then blaming her. but you followed me, and had THE NERVE to ask me what was wrong. what THE HELL? AND THEN you do the same exact thing AFTER you even basicly announced that you knew i was kinda sad. yeah i was sad. but now im just pissed. AND HOW DARE YOU SAY I WOULD USE YOU FOR YOUR COUSIN!! yeah i like him a lot but you said you wouldnt like me doing anything with him so i wasnt going to. besides he has to like me back! maybe if he liked me and i liked him and we lived in the same town OR AT LEAST CLOSE TO EACHOTHER i would try but no. he doesnt and i dont. fuck this man...



At least emily had the decency to wait till i was asleep! WHAT THE FUCK!




new dealer?
possibly.
hopefully.

new donor?
pshh i wish.
mines a dick,
and the other is gone.






::EDIT::


OKAY YEAH BEFORE I WAS BEING SARCASTIC ABOUT EMILY HAVING THE DECENCY TO WAIT FOR ME TO GO TO SLEEP. BUT I SAW YOU GO UP STAIRS! NICE! you thought i wouldnt see that? what a retard. dude... im not retarded, i know what you're doing!



BENNY AND JOON DAY ALWAYS SUCKS! the last GOOD wednesday i had was when heather came over and we ACTUALLY HAD benny and joon day..

8 comments|post comment

our love is.. [01 Nov 2005|10:32pm]
[ mood | creative ]
[ music | none because my speakers dont fucking work ]

our...

love...

is like...

ELECTRIFYING!

9 comments|post comment

i wah-ah be a man! [01 Nov 2005|06:47pm]
just kidding.

the burial was nice. when they all prayed together it sounded like a cultchanting. me john and cj just stood there looking at eahcother because we didnt know god's prayer. blah
she got beat with the ugly penis for sure...
im gunna try out for mtv's made and im gunna say im a male and i wanna be made into a girl. I WANNA BE A MAN! that dates back to the summer i think. the day emily slapped me really hard.



i cant help that, its not like i ask for it. =(
7 comments|post comment

[31 Oct 2005|03:33am]
[ mood | distressed ]
[ music | pixies ]

-worst halloween ever.
+im getting married to jared.
++i found out that pixies have a myspace.
----someone posted a video of animal cruelty. i fucking cried.

http://jcruel.com/index2.asp

its so sad. they were...omg it was horrible.
they tore the skin off of defensless animals while they were still alive, and they were still moving aftre all of there skin was off. thats not all there is but god damn. thats so depressing...
i cant beleive that someone could do that, its horrible. it shows the animals being so scared, you can see the fear in them. they know that they'er going to suffer a HORRIBLE fate. i hate people. i want to tear all of there fucking flesh off and leave them in a dirty cage. hmm. i wonder how long they'll survive. ill even make a coat out of there skin. maybe even some nice mittens.

4 comments|post comment

[31 Oct 2005|02:19am]
[ mood | annoyed ]
[ music | none ]

well the people who smoke weed will find this most interesting. but i would rather the people who don't smoke weed read this. its more or less trying to get you to support the use of marijuana. its not saying hey lets roll up a spliff, itll make all your problems go away! if you dont wanna read it fine. i recomend reading it when you're bored. its really long.

 

but yeah. i thought it was worth while. i read most of it.

and if you value and respect my opinions you would at least give it a look see )
but if you werent interested... then ill give you what i basically learned.

 

 

  1. mj is a psycho-addictive drug. meaning its all in you're mind that you are addicted. its like biting your nails. UT OH!! you bit another nail! off to rehab little tommy!
  2. mj does in fact have more then 400 chemicals. so what? coffee has over 800 chemicals. they just threw the big number in there to scare you. i dont see the cops arresting convenient store owners for selling coffee...
  3. cannibus was actually made illegal when white workers were getting pissed about the immagrants getting the jobs. THAT started with the chinese. they were using opium, thusly making them more efficient workers. so getting rid of opium got rid of them. so then there were the black americans and cocaine. damn black people stealing our jobs! we have to get rid of them so WE can make all the money... lock them up for there coke. DAMN MEXICANS AND THERE WORKING MORE HOURS FOR LESS PAY! WHAT THE HELL? if drugs such as opium and cocaine were helping the chinese and black peaople...it must be marijuana working for the mexicans! LETS BAN MARIJUANA! hey it got rid of the chinese and black competition, WHY NOT the mexicans? so in reality it was racism.
  4. usage of marijuana lowering sperm count in males is inaccurate. if it does lower sperm count, it would only be by a small percentage.
  5. speaking of which, marijuana does not lowere testosterone. that was a scare tactic used to make boys think they were gunna turn into scrauny wimpy girls (also known as HOMOPHOBIA. DONT get me started on that issue).
  6. Marijuana does not make you stupid, and your memory is not impaired. YES its true that while UNDER THE INFLUENCE marijuana can affect your reaction time, but you are only high for a few hours.
  7. hemp can be used to make paper and clothing, and as medicines and be a lot cheaper then using trees and killing rainforests upon rainforests to make our paper when cannabis is right there. PLUS it grows at a quicker rate so we dont need that many reefer feilds.
  8. its not true that kids are socially withdrawn because of weed. i mean they always say "kids are only doing it to fit in"! think about it. if they are trying to fit in then that means they dont have that many friends right. so technically they are already socially withdrawn. so you should look at it as a symptom, not a cause. but that can be in some cases.
  9. it is in fact true that it does cause "laziness" but thats only in adolesence. if a user started when they were an adult, chances are that they learned how to be responsible while they were a teen. if they start as a teen they never learned that important trait. all i have to say is OH WELL SKIPPY! I DONT CARE!
  10. one joint is equal to 5 cigarettes. true. but if you think about someone who smokes cigarettes, you will notice that in a day they have a cigarette about twice every hour or less. so thats like 24 or more cigarettes (assuming they'r up for 14 hours, which if you think about it, its a reasonable numebr of hours) now look at a person who smokes weed. they don't chain smoke it. BUT IF THEY DID, the affects last longer then that of a cigarette. most people who smoke are high for a good 2-3 hours depending on how much they smoke. if i plan on being high all day (and not that many people do that) then that would be 3-4 joints= 15-20 cigarettes. so comparing it to cigarettes isn't proving your point at all bucko.
  11. telling kids not to smoke isnt the brightest idea. that just spikes there interest. to all you christians out there: what happened when god told adam not to eat the forbidden fruit? he did. hmmmm. all you are doing is spiking a development stage called curiosity.
    1.  

       

well if you've read this far then that means you've taken an acute interest in the topic. for more information in detail click the lj cut. it really puts things in perspective.

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